FS (feeler): egnater mod 50 (snakeskin) / Jadedfaith mods

I'm working on an article for our local newspaper. There are many musical venues in our town and most of them book the same dreadful bands or singer-songwriters week after week. So I'm putting together the 10 worst reasons why you should avoid some of the venues.

Here's what I've got so far. Any printable suggestions are welcome.

10. They played ?Another One Bites The Dust? at our wedding reception

9. They can?t be real musicians ? they bathe regularly

8. The only heavy-metal tune they know is ?Mercury Blues?

7. Their shirts are louder than their amplifiers

6. They ignore requests to play polka

5. They haven?t a tattoo or a nose ring between them

4. My dog hates their rendition of Steve Miller?s ?Fly Like A Beagle?

3. They end every song with ?Have a nice day?

2. Their Barry Manilow medley induces mass narcolepsy

1. Their microphones smell of fried chicken

Their cover of "China Grove" is indistinguishable from the old Juicy Fruit jingle.